Mistaken belonging

I know depression. When JC said, “Depression is your body saying f*ck you,” I understood. In 2012, I told a doctor what I was thinking and feeling and he gave me a prescription. But it was my whole body that was upset, not just my brain and heart. By July 2009, I had logged over three decades of loyal participation in organized religion. It was how I experienced belonging. I felt known and valued in my relationships there. But then I stopped going and my experience of belonging in a religious context evaporated. 
I did not react much at the time because I was experiencing belonging rather intensely in some other contexts. But three years later, after gaining momentum in a new vocational direction, I gave a workshop for my old church. Some of them didn’t like it and I was devastated. Right after that, my body revolted. It was a long time before I realized why. I had misunderstood belonging and some of my deepest connections for thirty years. After years of studying belonging and how it shows up in the patterns of nature all around us, I believe negative mental, emotional, and physical reactions are often evidence of mistaken belonging.
Belonging is not conferred by human-engineered laws or institutions. It comes from generative cooperation with the natural laws of the universe. We do not belong because of our country, race, religion, political affiliation, socio-economic status, or favorite sports team. We belong when our relationships operate based on mutual exchange and we experience the reality that who we really are is needed. 
When we try to belong based on anything other than who we really are and how we really fit, our body, brain, and heart will tell us - something is not right.