perceived reality

Our reality is not defined or determined by how we see it. It is a combination of intersecting perspectives. The work we have to do then, is understanding the differing perspectives we interact with. This is done, of course, in the context of relationships. Fortunately, we are only in relationships with a few people. According to Robin Dunbar, we self-manage the number based on our individual capacity - so that’s one thing we don’t need to worry about if we are paying attention to our own emotions and energy levels. 

But getting to know people is hard - even if it is only a few of them. It takes a lot of time and the challenging task of seeing the world from other people’s perspectives. No question about it, that is a daunting task. Especially in our fast-moving, hyper-individualized culture. Most of the time we are just trying to get our own work done without getting in trouble. In fact, avoiding conflict to prioritize efficiency is a culprit in our story of emotional emptiness and disconnection. 

Perhaps we need less efficiency and more time spent learning to understand the different perspectives of the people we interact with. If we really knew each other, the conflict that arises from clashing perspectives - interrupting our efficiency, would be replaced with effective connections. Connections based on our true selves and our actual thoughts and feelings. If the structures of our relationship were shaped by our properly oriented connections, that would increase our effectiveness and reduce conflict. Efficiency would be a natural byproduct.

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